after a month...
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Even though Schmuck and I have been together for almost 7 years now, I knew that being married would somehow be different. True enough, we've been married for a month now and I've had to make some adjustments in my life, and I've made some new discoveries as well. Now, this is based on my own marital experience ok?
1. Sleeping positions
Although we've slept together before (and I mean this in its literal sense -- yeah, right!), I didn't realize it would be different once we're married. Sure, we've gone out of town and we slept on the same bed. Or there'd be times when we're both tired and we'd take naps on the same bed. I always figured that we'd sleep together, as in together. Like cuddled together. Or spooning. Or with me in the crook of his arm with my head on his shoulder. Which is how it was before, on those times when we did sleep together. But I realized that you can only do that for a short period of time. Believe me, at some point, you'd be concerned about wanting to breathe. I mean, it's not that you can't, but there is a particular feeling of shortness of breath.
When we're cuddled together, I'm not really fond of inhaling what he exhaled for a long period of time. Is that weird? I mean, our heads are too close together, and we're in the exact same air space. A few minutes of this is nice, but sleeping in this position? Hmmm, quite difficult. I feel an asthma attack coming.
Or what about spooning? Sure, one of you gets clear air space (the one in the inner spoon) but what about the other? More often than not, Schmuck is the one in the outer spoon, and his air space is my hair. How can he breathe in all that hair? I'm sure he's feeling the shortness of breath too. And believe me, close breathing in your hair and at the back of your neck is not a good feeling as well. It can get quite...warm...in the head area.
Or take the woman's-head-in-the-crook-of-the-arm position. In this position, my face is somewhere in Schmuck's neck area, and it's kind of a cramped area. So when I breathe there, it gets kinda warm and there's shortage of air supply too. And even though I weigh under 100 pounds, that is still weight and my head resting on Schmuck's arm for over an hour can seriously cut off circulation of the blood. By morning, he'd have a dead arm.
2. Morning breath
C'mon! Everyone has this. No matter that you brushed your teeth right before you went to bed (and years of "bonding" with your family dentist backing you up), you will always wake up with morning breath. It's a fact of life.
It can be quite embarassing, but the good thing about it is that you're not alone. Both of you have it. One way to deal with it is to wake up earlier than your partner and brushing your teeth already. But really, that's just going to make your partner feel terrible that he still has morning breath and your breath is all nice and minty. I suggest that you enjoy the togetherness of the morning breath experience. hee!
3. Calling your husband's parents "Mom" and "Dad"
Now this was quite an adjustment for me, and I find it funny (and endearing) that I didn't see Schmuck fumble with this. For almost seven years, I've been so used to calling them "Tito" or "Tita", and then just like that, I have to change and call them "Mom" and "Dad". It's not like I had time to prepare before the wedding, where I'm given an adjustment period. We're talking about cold turkey here. There were numerous times when I'm in the middle of a story and I suddenly say "Tito" or "Tita" and I'd gasp and stutter and fumble. Quite embarassing, really.
Schmuck, on the other hand, transitioned with no problems whatsoever. It's like, one minute he's calling my folks "Tito" or "Tita" then he's suddenly saying Dad this or Dad that or Mom this and Mom that. Amazing.
I'm proud to say though that I've gotten used to this brand new name calling, and I'm addressing my in-laws as "Mom" and "Dad" like a pro. ngyahahaha!
4. Taking a shower together
This doesn't really live up to its expectations. Or my expectations, at least. When both of you are in the shower, several things can happen.
One is you could drown. Yep, you actually can. At a certain position, that shower head can point straight at your face, and no matter how romantic you think it is, it just isn't when the water is hitting your face at a continuous stream. Oh, and it is also very difficult to french kiss when you're taking a shower together. When you're french kissing, you breathe through your nose right? I mean, when you think about it, it's quite disgusting (and difficult) to be breathing through your mouth while your french kissing. Ewwww! But breathe through your nose with water running down your face and you will choke and drown.
Second, taking a shower together is also inconsiderate of your partner's needs, because at no point in time will you both be under the water spray. If you're under the water spray, then i'm pretty sure your partner isn't and that his ass is freezing. Or it could be the other way around and it is your ass that's freezing. We all know a frozen ass is far from romantic.
5. New name, new signature, new everything
I'm still at that stage where I'm getting used to my new name. I also handle recruitment at our office, and I conduct interviews quite often. However, whenever I introduce myself to my interviewee, I still fumble when I say my name. At which point, I'm thinking that the interviewee must think I'm stupid for not even knowing my own name. hahahaha! There was also this one training that I attended, and we were each asked to introduce ourselves to the group. As I did my introduction in front of the group, I proceeded to say "Hi, my name is blah blah blah" and gave my maiden name. When I realized mid-sentence that it wasn't my name anymore, I again stuttered. Being the idiot that I am, I blurted out "Oh wait, no, that's not my name!" hahahahaha! I can be such a dodo sometimes.
Oooh, the new signature! I've been practicing since 3 years ago. ngyahahahaha! But really, I have been dying to change my old signature. I've always admired those really complicated signatures that don't look anything like their actual name and which you can't actually read. You know how my old one looks? Ask a grade 3 student to write my name in script, and voila! That's my signature. People actually laugh at it, so that gives you an idea how terrible it must be. But my years of practice have paid off, and my new signature looks so cool! hahahahaha!
We finally got our marriage contract from St. James last weekend, and with that piece of paper comes the MANY changes that I'll have to do. Change passport. Change driver's license. Change all credit cards. Change bank records. Change SSS. Change tax exemption status. Change employment records. Holy fuck. Oh, and Schmuck and I will finally be able to open our joint account and keep all the moolah we made during our wedding. heehee!
6. Being addressed as wife or asawa, and addressing Schmuck as husband or asawa
Surreal, but nice! Right, Star? haha! Taking it from Notting Hill, that's how I feel whenever Schmuck addresses me as his wife or as his asawa. And oooh, I just so love introducing him to other people and saying "This is my husband...". I love bumping into people I know in the supermarket and when they ask who I'm with, I'd say "I'm with my husband.". Hahahahaha! And of course, I get kilig whenever Schmuck refers to me as his wife or asawa, no matter that it's used in sentences like "My wife's a loony" or "Retarded ang asawa ko". Sigh. That just sends me off to cloud 9! And being introduced to his friends as his wife? Ahhh, heaven to my ears!
7. Sex anytime I want it
Awriiiight!!! 'Nuff said.
8. Weird discoveries
This can take on many forms, and it really varies depending on the couple. My biggest discovery thus far is that my husband talks in his sleep. And it's not just the mumbling type of talk, but I mean we can actually converse while he sleeps! It's sooo cool! I remember quite clearly one of those special conversations we had. The alarm went off at 5am, and I woke up so that I could wake him up. It seems that there is no alarm yet invented that would actually wake up my husband. The purpose of his alarm clock is to wake everyone else but him, and for everyone else to wake him up. It's amazing when you analyze how it works.
So anyhoo, I was trying to wake him up from 5am till 530am. Yep, 30 mins of trying, with mumbled mm-hmmm's as an answer.
Mrs: B, wake up na. It's 5.
Mr: Mm-hmmm
Mrs: You'll be late for work. Get up na, baby.
Mr: Mm-hmmm
Mrs (and this is said in varying tones): Baby...baby...baby...baby...wake up na!
Mr: Mm-hmmm
Mrs: Wake up naaaaaaa
Mr: Mm-hmmm
(this goes on for a few more minutes)
Mrs: B! B! 530 na. Wake up ka naaaa!
Mr: Mmmm...Ay, B, alam mo nawawala yung huling picture natin...
Mrs: Ha?
Mr: Yung huling picture natin...
Mrs: Meron tayong huling picture?
Mr: Mm-hmmm
Mrs: Anong picture yun?
Mr: Yung huling picture natin...yung kasama si Superman
Mrs (stifling my laughter): May picture tayo kasama si Superman???
Mr: Mm-hmmm
Mrs: Kelan to?
Mr: Yung Superman ng Hollywood ha...
Mrs: Superman ng Hollywood?!?!
Mr: Mm-hmmm
Waking up has never been more fun!
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Even though Schmuck and I have been together for almost 7 years now, I knew that being married would somehow be different. True enough, we've been married for a month now and I've had to make some adjustments in my life, and I've made some new discoveries as well. Now, this is based on my own marital experience ok?
1. Sleeping positions
Although we've slept together before (and I mean this in its literal sense -- yeah, right!), I didn't realize it would be different once we're married. Sure, we've gone out of town and we slept on the same bed. Or there'd be times when we're both tired and we'd take naps on the same bed. I always figured that we'd sleep together, as in together. Like cuddled together. Or spooning. Or with me in the crook of his arm with my head on his shoulder. Which is how it was before, on those times when we did sleep together. But I realized that you can only do that for a short period of time. Believe me, at some point, you'd be concerned about wanting to breathe. I mean, it's not that you can't, but there is a particular feeling of shortness of breath.
When we're cuddled together, I'm not really fond of inhaling what he exhaled for a long period of time. Is that weird? I mean, our heads are too close together, and we're in the exact same air space. A few minutes of this is nice, but sleeping in this position? Hmmm, quite difficult. I feel an asthma attack coming.
Or what about spooning? Sure, one of you gets clear air space (the one in the inner spoon) but what about the other? More often than not, Schmuck is the one in the outer spoon, and his air space is my hair. How can he breathe in all that hair? I'm sure he's feeling the shortness of breath too. And believe me, close breathing in your hair and at the back of your neck is not a good feeling as well. It can get quite...warm...in the head area.
Or take the woman's-head-in-the-crook-of-the-arm position. In this position, my face is somewhere in Schmuck's neck area, and it's kind of a cramped area. So when I breathe there, it gets kinda warm and there's shortage of air supply too. And even though I weigh under 100 pounds, that is still weight and my head resting on Schmuck's arm for over an hour can seriously cut off circulation of the blood. By morning, he'd have a dead arm.
2. Morning breath
C'mon! Everyone has this. No matter that you brushed your teeth right before you went to bed (and years of "bonding" with your family dentist backing you up), you will always wake up with morning breath. It's a fact of life.
It can be quite embarassing, but the good thing about it is that you're not alone. Both of you have it. One way to deal with it is to wake up earlier than your partner and brushing your teeth already. But really, that's just going to make your partner feel terrible that he still has morning breath and your breath is all nice and minty. I suggest that you enjoy the togetherness of the morning breath experience. hee!
3. Calling your husband's parents "Mom" and "Dad"
Now this was quite an adjustment for me, and I find it funny (and endearing) that I didn't see Schmuck fumble with this. For almost seven years, I've been so used to calling them "Tito" or "Tita", and then just like that, I have to change and call them "Mom" and "Dad". It's not like I had time to prepare before the wedding, where I'm given an adjustment period. We're talking about cold turkey here. There were numerous times when I'm in the middle of a story and I suddenly say "Tito" or "Tita" and I'd gasp and stutter and fumble. Quite embarassing, really.
Schmuck, on the other hand, transitioned with no problems whatsoever. It's like, one minute he's calling my folks "Tito" or "Tita" then he's suddenly saying Dad this or Dad that or Mom this and Mom that. Amazing.
I'm proud to say though that I've gotten used to this brand new name calling, and I'm addressing my in-laws as "Mom" and "Dad" like a pro. ngyahahaha!
4. Taking a shower together
This doesn't really live up to its expectations. Or my expectations, at least. When both of you are in the shower, several things can happen.
One is you could drown. Yep, you actually can. At a certain position, that shower head can point straight at your face, and no matter how romantic you think it is, it just isn't when the water is hitting your face at a continuous stream. Oh, and it is also very difficult to french kiss when you're taking a shower together. When you're french kissing, you breathe through your nose right? I mean, when you think about it, it's quite disgusting (and difficult) to be breathing through your mouth while your french kissing. Ewwww! But breathe through your nose with water running down your face and you will choke and drown.
Second, taking a shower together is also inconsiderate of your partner's needs, because at no point in time will you both be under the water spray. If you're under the water spray, then i'm pretty sure your partner isn't and that his ass is freezing. Or it could be the other way around and it is your ass that's freezing. We all know a frozen ass is far from romantic.
5. New name, new signature, new everything
I'm still at that stage where I'm getting used to my new name. I also handle recruitment at our office, and I conduct interviews quite often. However, whenever I introduce myself to my interviewee, I still fumble when I say my name. At which point, I'm thinking that the interviewee must think I'm stupid for not even knowing my own name. hahahaha! There was also this one training that I attended, and we were each asked to introduce ourselves to the group. As I did my introduction in front of the group, I proceeded to say "Hi, my name is blah blah blah" and gave my maiden name. When I realized mid-sentence that it wasn't my name anymore, I again stuttered. Being the idiot that I am, I blurted out "Oh wait, no, that's not my name!" hahahahaha! I can be such a dodo sometimes.
Oooh, the new signature! I've been practicing since 3 years ago. ngyahahahaha! But really, I have been dying to change my old signature. I've always admired those really complicated signatures that don't look anything like their actual name and which you can't actually read. You know how my old one looks? Ask a grade 3 student to write my name in script, and voila! That's my signature. People actually laugh at it, so that gives you an idea how terrible it must be. But my years of practice have paid off, and my new signature looks so cool! hahahahaha!
We finally got our marriage contract from St. James last weekend, and with that piece of paper comes the MANY changes that I'll have to do. Change passport. Change driver's license. Change all credit cards. Change bank records. Change SSS. Change tax exemption status. Change employment records. Holy fuck. Oh, and Schmuck and I will finally be able to open our joint account and keep all the moolah we made during our wedding. heehee!
6. Being addressed as wife or asawa, and addressing Schmuck as husband or asawa
Surreal, but nice! Right, Star? haha! Taking it from Notting Hill, that's how I feel whenever Schmuck addresses me as his wife or as his asawa. And oooh, I just so love introducing him to other people and saying "This is my husband...". I love bumping into people I know in the supermarket and when they ask who I'm with, I'd say "I'm with my husband.". Hahahahaha! And of course, I get kilig whenever Schmuck refers to me as his wife or asawa, no matter that it's used in sentences like "My wife's a loony" or "Retarded ang asawa ko". Sigh. That just sends me off to cloud 9! And being introduced to his friends as his wife? Ahhh, heaven to my ears!
7. Sex anytime I want it
Awriiiight!!! 'Nuff said.
8. Weird discoveries
This can take on many forms, and it really varies depending on the couple. My biggest discovery thus far is that my husband talks in his sleep. And it's not just the mumbling type of talk, but I mean we can actually converse while he sleeps! It's sooo cool! I remember quite clearly one of those special conversations we had. The alarm went off at 5am, and I woke up so that I could wake him up. It seems that there is no alarm yet invented that would actually wake up my husband. The purpose of his alarm clock is to wake everyone else but him, and for everyone else to wake him up. It's amazing when you analyze how it works.
So anyhoo, I was trying to wake him up from 5am till 530am. Yep, 30 mins of trying, with mumbled mm-hmmm's as an answer.
Mrs: B, wake up na. It's 5.
Mr: Mm-hmmm
Mrs: You'll be late for work. Get up na, baby.
Mr: Mm-hmmm
Mrs (and this is said in varying tones): Baby...baby...baby...baby...wake up na!
Mr: Mm-hmmm
Mrs: Wake up naaaaaaa
Mr: Mm-hmmm
(this goes on for a few more minutes)
Mrs: B! B! 530 na. Wake up ka naaaa!
Mr: Mmmm...Ay, B, alam mo nawawala yung huling picture natin...
Mrs: Ha?
Mr: Yung huling picture natin...
Mrs: Meron tayong huling picture?
Mr: Mm-hmmm
Mrs: Anong picture yun?
Mr: Yung huling picture natin...yung kasama si Superman
Mrs (stifling my laughter): May picture tayo kasama si Superman???
Mr: Mm-hmmm
Mrs: Kelan to?
Mr: Yung Superman ng Hollywood ha...
Mrs: Superman ng Hollywood?!?!
Mr: Mm-hmmm
Waking up has never been more fun!
Comments:
Hi there Blogger,
Just to give you a heads up, you're probably going to get some more comments on this post: after a month.... I found you when I was out looking for the latest info about french kissing technique products, and even though this doesn't relate to french kissing technique, I still had to stop and tell you that you're doing a great job. You're about to get some visits from my brother and sister. I told them about your blog so I hope you don't mind.
Post a Comment
Just to give you a heads up, you're probably going to get some more comments on this post: after a month.... I found you when I was out looking for the latest info about french kissing technique products, and even though this doesn't relate to french kissing technique, I still had to stop and tell you that you're doing a great job. You're about to get some visits from my brother and sister. I told them about your blog so I hope you don't mind.
# posted by 
: 11:39 AM
: 11:39 AM
